lisab86 (lisab86) wrote in depressionloves,


I just found this community and I think my husband has (?)clinical depression. He is 44 years old and has not been to a doctor for this. We separated three weeks ago and I believe his mental state has a lot to do with his decision to leave us.

In the six years I have known him (married five years) he has had repeated episodes of just being "blue" as he calls it, not interested in life in general. Things that he once looked forward to are now just frustrations to him and I believe I have become a frustration as well.

He often talks about feeling old and missing out on things. Kind of like a mid-life crisis? I've talked to him about getting treatment or talking to someone and his response was always " I don't want to go through life drugged up" and "I can talk to you, why do I need to talk to a doctor?" Uh, maybe because I am NOT A DOCTOR?

I am at a loss as to how to deal with this. I love him and want to help him, but I realize he needs to be the one to help himself.

Glad I found you all.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

If you husband is unwilling to recognise he has a medical problem unfortunately there may be little you can do for him but constantly remind him that he is loved and the world isn't such a terrible place

One thing which may be worth telling him if it can be brought up in a non confrontational manner is that most modern anti-depressants aren't strong drugs which stop you functioning but instead drugs to stop you feeling so bad so you can sort out the depression and its causes and attempt to live a normal life

Alternatively you could try buying a book like this

Mind over mood

This covers topics which is about recognising when a person is depressed and rationally considering the causes. If you can sit down with a book like this together you may be able to at least get him to a place where he recognises he needs medical help
Thank you so much for your help. I do tell him (whenever I get to actually talk to him) that I love him and I am here for him whenever he needs someone to lean on, but he does'nt seem to want to hear that now that we are separated.

I will go ahead and get that book you recommended and I have a feeling he will read it, maybe on his own though. I'd like to read it too, before I give it to him.

I have heard so many people say the medication they take has helped them tremendously. I hope he at least trys.