Spyder (spyder) wrote in depressionloves,

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And so we sit alternately bitching at and apologising to each other, and I don't know whether my being cranky is cause she's on a downer, or whether it's a downer all of my very own. I mean, I can't seem to get the impetus to do anything for myself, so I'm not coping at all when I find myself having to act for us both.

It's not that she's not doing stuff. She's doing more than I am these days. It's just it feels I can't do anything right when I do stuff for "us" or for her, and if it's not going right, then why should a task be done at all. And so she storms off, and I don't know how much is cause she didn't really wanna do something in the first place, and how much is me interfering, of messing up or imposing, or just plain getting in the way.

I can't seem to say anything without it ending up with apologies or snapping form one or both of us; usually both of us. How do I help someone who is bored, when all the things I do to try and mask my own boredom are solitary activities. I play games or read or watch telly, but the games I play aren’t the same ones she does; a book is not really a shared activity, and she never was one to just sit in front of the telly. How do I deal with someone who wants to not exist, but doesn't have any reasons? How can I be strong without being condescending? Supportive without stifling? Encouraging without pissing her off?
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